In all types of writing (except technical) we are told to use an “attention grabber” or a “hook.” These are generally the title of a piece of writing or the very first sentence the audience reads (or hears in oral presentations). We are not only told to do this, we are taught how to do this. We are told to use “shocking” statements, tell the reader something they don’t know, or say something controversial.
Why is it okay to seek attention in our writing, but not for ourselves?
I have heard these two phrases all my life from so many people, “Wow, they must need a lot of attention”, and “They are just an attention seeker.”
Why is being an attention seeker perceived as a negative thing? Why can I be an attention seeker in my writing but not in my life? Why do we shame and resent people who need more or a different kind of attention than we do?
Humans are social animals and we need attention. Those of us that don’t get enough or haven’t gotten enough, crave or seek it out, maybe even from strangers.
The problem with using the term “attention seeker” negatively is that
Continue reading “Why it Should be Okay to be an “Attention Seeker””
I can say that I have only ever had one selfish friend. This friend wanted me to spend time with him almost every waking moment and would turn manipulative when I said “no.” It took me a few weeks to learn to tell him “no” but when I did, his true nature came out and I ran from that toxic relationship quickly. He was a selfish friend that wasn’t worth keeping around. Some of us have selfish friends that don’t know that they are taking advantage of others.
Sometimes we have friends that are just selfish in nature. They expect you to drop everything for them when they need or want you to. They might even seek you out more than your other friends because they know you will say yes. And you do say yes.
But what if you had said no? What would have happened? Would your friend have accepted your answer or would they have turned against you?
Is this selfish friend worth keeping around? Continue reading “How to Say “No” to Selfish Friends”
Challenge: No using my phone while doing other things (eating, watching tv, writing)
Hours spent this week using my phone: 26 hours and 39 minutes or 12 hours and 57 minutes (subtracting maps and youTube since I technically wasn’t using my phone)
Most used apps: Maps and Youtube
How it went:
After the disaster that was last week, this week went a lot better. I didn’t use my phone for social media much while we were on our trip, I made a total of two posts before today and I wasn’t scrolling through Pinterest or Tumblr for hours a day. I didn’t do so well on not using my phone while eating because most of our days were planned during breakfast. We didn’t watch TV and most of my writing was done yesterday. I think this week was successful, mostly in part because I was on a road trip.
Since we were on a road trip this week, most of my phone usage is for YouTube (music) and maps. The data is a bit skewed this week.
How I’m feeling:
I’m feeling really good about this week. Really good. I plan to implement what I’ve been practicing in the last three weeks in the imminent future and work on the things I struggled with.
I hope to really kick this phone addiction to the curb because I really hate that I’m always one my phone. What really gets me now is how much I see other people using their phones because its so easy to see other people doing it and to want to do it yourself. I think in the end, the most difficult part of doing the challenge is seeing your friends and peers using their phones in front of you while you are consciously trying not to. I feel good about this whole experience. I’m ready to take what I’ve started and move forward with it. I’m excited to see what I can accomplish in the future!
Challenge: phone ban between the 8 pm and 8 am.
Hours spent this week using my phone: 18 hours and 11 minutes
Most used apps: Pinterest, 6 hours, 35 minutes
How it went:
I was right, like I suspected in last week’s post, this week was very hard. I think I was too ambitious. Not using my phone after 8pm was the hardest part. I can manage not using my phone in the morning before 8am, that was simple and easy. I think for week three, I will change the ban to between 9:30pm and 8am. I wanted it to start two hours before bed and one before I had to be anywhere in the mornings. I generally go to bed around 10:30, so an hour is a good place to start and eventually I can work up to two hours. When classes start at the end of this month, I will have to adjust again too.
How I’m feeling:
I can confidently say I failed this part of the challenge. I know where it went wrong and I am ready to work on it.
Come back next Saturday for an update on week three: No using my phone while doing other things (eating, watching tv, writing).
Challenge: My phone does not go to bed with me.
Hours spent this week using my phone: 19 hours 40 minutes
Most used app: Pinterest, 6 hours 2 minutes
How it went:
This is the first week of my phone addiction challenge and it was surprisingly easy to not take my phone to bed with me. I have a basket on my desk where I empty my bag into and I just set my phone in there before bed and don’t pull it out until I get out of bed in the morning.
I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted Tuesday of this week and I had done great with not taking my phone to bed up until Thursday. I’m literally writing this portion of the update while in bed. I was under the impression that I would be feeling back to normal by Friday. Well its Friday night and I still feel like garbage and I’m struggling to not take my phone to bed for naps and bed time.
Update: Successfully put my phone in the basket before bed. Then got up and got it around 3 am because of a nightmare.
How I’m feeling:
Aside from the wisdom tooth removal, I feel really good about the beginning of my journey to beat my phone addiction. I think starting out simple and easy was a good plan and while it didn’t work out perfectly due to poor planning on my part (or an innate cruelty towards myself) I think I’m off to a solid start.
Regardless of it all, I spent fewer than 20 hours on my phone this week and I’m pretty happy with that.
Next week is going to be the hardest week I think.
Come back next Saturday for an update on week two: phone ban between the 8 pm and 8 am.
I am the first to admit that I have an addictive personality. Like many people my age, I am addicted to my phone. I spend a lot of time on Pinterest, Instagram, Tumblr, Snapchat, and YouTube. When I became aware of the amount of time I spent on my phone and how much of my life it consumed, I downloaded the app QualityTime and began tracking my phone usage. I decided for a period of time, I would just let the app track my time. Everyday it gives me a summary of my daily activity and every week is tells me the total hours I spent on my phone and the division of time between the apps I used. After about two months of tracking my usage, I can definitely say I have some form of phone addiction.
Continue reading “I’m Kicking My Phone Addiction”
As someone who has struggled with mental illness for a long time (you can read that story here), I can’t stress how important it is to find or identify your support group. You should never go through mental illness alone, and the odds are, your probably aren’t. There is someone in your life that cares and wants to help or understand.
A support group is a few people in your life that you trust. These people are there for you when you need to talk. They are there to listen. Maybe they can provide advice if that’s what you want or need. Often, they are simply someone who understands, loves or cares about you, and is there for you when you need them. Continue reading “How to Find Your Support Group”