How to Say “No” to Selfish Friends

How to Say “No” to Selfish Friends

I can say that I have only ever had one selfish friend. This friend wanted me to spend time with him almost every waking moment and would turn manipulative when I said “no.” It took me a few weeks to learn to tell him “no” but when I did, his true nature came out and I ran from that toxic relationship quickly. He was a selfish friend that wasn’t worth keeping around. Some of us have selfish friends that don’t know that they are taking advantage of others.

Sometimes we have friends that are just selfish in nature. They expect you to drop everything for them when they need or want you to. They might even seek you out more than your other friends because they know you will say yes. And you do say yes.

But what if you had said no? What would have happened? Would your friend have accepted your answer or would they have turned against you?

Is this selfish friend worth keeping around? Continue reading “How to Say “No” to Selfish Friends”

I’m Not Obligated to be Productive

I’m Not Obligated to be Productive

Right now, I am taking summer classes, working part time, and keeping track of all the spare time I have. I have so much free time right now. Even at my busiest I had a bunch of free time that I wasn’t optimizing. When I realized I wasn’t as busy as I thought I was, I saw all the time I was “wasting” on YouTube, Pinterest, tumblr, and the internet in general. It made me feel guilty about not being this super person who has it all and is always productive. When I started forcing productivity, I was exhausted and not actually accomplishing anything. I only wanted to be productive. This mindset was exactly the mindset I was trying to escape and I hadn’t realized it. I recently came to the hard realization that I was using “busy” and “productive” interchangeably (I have a post here about how I hate the word “busy”). I had simply swapped the super busy lifestyle with a “super productive” one. I think one of the first mistakes people make when they start having free time is trying Continue reading “I’m Not Obligated to be Productive”

Stop Saying You Are “Busy”

Stop Saying You Are “Busy”

I never want to hear or say “I’m busy” again.

I’m just now getting back into the swing of publishing a blog post every week. I’ve been “busy.” Although in all honesty, I have a lot going on in my life, I’m not so “busy” that I couldn’t sit down to write even just a little bit everyday. Being busy is my excuse for letting something slide to the side while I do other things. Most people do this. They say, “I’ve been so busy” when they forget your event they promised to be at. They say, “I’ve got so much going on right now” when they don’t want to say “no” to plans. It also goes the other way. Someone will say they are so “busy” because they want you and everyone else to think they are, whether they are or not.

Genuine busy-ness is unpleasant. Even workaholics don’t want to be busy.

If you enjoy most of what you do, the work doesn’t feel busy.

There is work, and there is busy work. Busy work is generally meaningless. If you say “I’m busy” instead of “I was working on signing a few contracts that will bring my office a lot of new business,” you devalue the work you are doing. If you say “I’m busy that day” instead of “I am spending time with family that day” you are devaluing the activity of being with family.

Really think about the things you value. If your work genuinely feels like busy work, then it’s probably time for a new attitude about work, or Continue reading “Stop Saying You Are “Busy””

Discover The Life You Want To Live

Discover The Life You Want To Live

How well do you know yourself? Are you living the life you want to live? Is your life really complicated and difficult right now?

Am I living the Life I want to Live?

I used to think I was the worst kind of blank slate, that I lacked genuine personality, and was a completely different person depending on who I was with. I also used to want a life that, I realize now, is overly complicated and would not make me happy. Until recently, I was moping about how busy my life is and how hard it was to get up in the morning and to not let go of everything. I was seriously over complicating my life and it was making me miserable because I didn’t know who I was and what I wanted.

As a disclaimer, I’ve always been very introspective and I think that comes with my introverted personality that is prone to overthinking everything. With that said, there is always room to grow and get to know yourself. Especially if you are like me, and weren’t asking yourself the right questions.

A lot of people think that life is supposed to be hard in some way for it to be rewarding. Additionally, people think that busyness and difficulty are an inescapable part of life. I want to say that it doesn’t have to be unless you want it to be. Plenty of people Continue reading “Discover The Life You Want To Live”