Why I don’t Wear Padded Bras: Curate a Wardrobe That is Comfortable

Why I don’t Wear Padded Bras: Curate a Wardrobe That is Comfortable

I only wear soft cup and wireless bras. Since my breast reduction, I have had very few padded and underwired bras. They weren’t comfortable and wearing them made me anxious. I bought a really nice one at my first fitting after my reduction, but wore it only a handful of times until the cups got too big when my breasts settled. I bought one other after that and I wore it maybe two times.

Why I Don’t Wear Padded Bras

The reason I never wore these bras had little to do with physical comfort (I bought a wireless padded bra and it didn’t make a difference in my emotional comfort). While physical comfort was important, it came down to being comfortable emotionally and mentally with the appearance of my breasts. Continue reading “Why I don’t Wear Padded Bras: Curate a Wardrobe That is Comfortable”

Why it Should be Okay to be an “Attention Seeker”

Why it Should be Okay to be an “Attention Seeker”

In all types of writing (except technical) we are told to use an “attention grabber” or a “hook.” These are generally the title of a piece of writing or the very first sentence the audience reads (or hears in oral presentations). We are not only told to do this, we are taught how to do this. We are told to use “shocking” statements, tell the reader something they don’t know, or say something controversial.

Why is it okay to seek attention in our writing, but not for ourselves?

I have heard these two phrases all my life from so many people, “Wow, they must need a lot of attention”, and “They are just an attention seeker.”

Why is being an attention seeker perceived as a negative thing? Why can I be an attention seeker in my writing but not in my life? Why do we shame and resent people who need more or a different kind of attention than we do?

Humans are social animals and we need attention. Those of us that don’t get enough or haven’t gotten enough, crave or seek it out, maybe even from strangers.

The problem with using the term “attention seeker” negatively is that

Continue reading “Why it Should be Okay to be an “Attention Seeker””

How to Say “No” to Selfish Friends

How to Say “No” to Selfish Friends

I can say that I have only ever had one selfish friend. This friend wanted me to spend time with him almost every waking moment and would turn manipulative when I said “no.” It took me a few weeks to learn to tell him “no” but when I did, his true nature came out and I ran from that toxic relationship quickly. He was a selfish friend that wasn’t worth keeping around. Some of us have selfish friends that don’t know that they are taking advantage of others.

Sometimes we have friends that are just selfish in nature. They expect you to drop everything for them when they need or want you to. They might even seek you out more than your other friends because they know you will say yes. And you do say yes.

But what if you had said no? What would have happened? Would your friend have accepted your answer or would they have turned against you?

Is this selfish friend worth keeping around? Continue reading “How to Say “No” to Selfish Friends”

How to Find Your Support Group

How to Find Your Support Group

Support Groups

As someone who has struggled with mental illness for a long time (you can read that story here), I can’t stress how important it is to find or identify your support group. You should never go through mental illness alone, and the odds are, your probably aren’t. There is someone in your life that cares and wants to help or understand.

A support group is a few people in your life that you trust. These people are there for you when you need to talk. They are there to listen. Maybe they can provide advice if that’s what you want or need. Often, they are simply someone who understands, loves or cares about you, and is there for you when you need them. Continue reading “How to Find Your Support Group”

Discover The Life You Want To Live

Discover The Life You Want To Live

How well do you know yourself? Are you living the life you want to live? Is your life really complicated and difficult right now?

Am I living the Life I want to Live?

I used to think I was the worst kind of blank slate, that I lacked genuine personality, and was a completely different person depending on who I was with. I also used to want a life that, I realize now, is overly complicated and would not make me happy. Until recently, I was moping about how busy my life is and how hard it was to get up in the morning and to not let go of everything. I was seriously over complicating my life and it was making me miserable because I didn’t know who I was and what I wanted.

As a disclaimer, I’ve always been very introspective and I think that comes with my introverted personality that is prone to overthinking everything. With that said, there is always room to grow and get to know yourself. Especially if you are like me, and weren’t asking yourself the right questions.

A lot of people think that life is supposed to be hard in some way for it to be rewarding. Additionally, people think that busyness and difficulty are an inescapable part of life. I want to say that it doesn’t have to be unless you want it to be. Plenty of people Continue reading “Discover The Life You Want To Live”

My Journey to Mental Health, Not Recovery

My Journey to Mental Health, Not Recovery

young Brette

Fleeting happiness is still happiness, I just wish I had more of it when I was this age.

Trigger Warning: depression, death, self-harm, suicide, eating disorders

This is a condensed (but still long AF) telling of my journey to mental health. I realized as I started writing this, that I am tired of writing about my mental illness. I simply feel like my major depression no longer defines me. It is a part of me and always will be, but it is not me.

With this considered, I believe mental health becomes more prevalent in daily lives. I recognize the importance of the topic, especially when someone can share their story because so many people are struggling and the more often and longer we maintain a dialogue, the closer we are to normalizing mental health care and moving away from stigma.

I separated the sections by periods of my life as Continue reading “My Journey to Mental Health, Not Recovery”