In all types of writing (except technical) we are told to use an “attention grabber” or a “hook.” These are generally the title of a piece of writing or the very first sentence the audience reads (or hears in oral presentations). We are not only told to do this, we are taught how to do this. We are told to use “shocking” statements, tell the reader something they don’t know, or say something controversial.
Why is it okay to seek attention in our writing, but not for ourselves?
I have heard these two phrases all my life from so many people, “Wow, they must need a lot of attention”, and “They are just an attention seeker.”
Why is being an attention seeker perceived as a negative thing? Why can I be an attention seeker in my writing but not in my life? Why do we shame and resent people who need more or a different kind of attention than we do?
Humans are social animals and we need attention. Those of us that don’t get enough or haven’t gotten enough, crave or seek it out, maybe even from strangers.
The problem with using the term “attention seeker” negatively is that
Continue reading “Why it Should be Okay to be an “Attention Seeker””
I can say that I have only ever had one selfish friend. This friend wanted me to spend time with him almost every waking moment and would turn manipulative when I said “no.” It took me a few weeks to learn to tell him “no” but when I did, his true nature came out and I ran from that toxic relationship quickly. He was a selfish friend that wasn’t worth keeping around. Some of us have selfish friends that don’t know that they are taking advantage of others.
Sometimes we have friends that are just selfish in nature. They expect you to drop everything for them when they need or want you to. They might even seek you out more than your other friends because they know you will say yes. And you do say yes.
But what if you had said no? What would have happened? Would your friend have accepted your answer or would they have turned against you?
Is this selfish friend worth keeping around? Continue reading “How to Say “No” to Selfish Friends”
Many people understand what it’s like to have an image of who they want to be, and what that version of themselves looks like and wears. They also know what it’s like to get dressed in the morning and put something on that doesn’t fit their image of their ideal self. I believe the primary reasons for this are twofold. One, they don’t actually know how they want to dress or they have a vague idea that might change all the time. Two, they aren’t comfortable or confident wearing what they want to wear.
Finding yourself and knowing how you want to present yourself is one step to simplifying your life. When you know your style and have items you love, you spend a lot less time figuring out what to wear, shopping, and purging your closet over and over again. This post is a small part of my Simple Life Series.
I struggled for years not knowing what my personal style was. Before my breast reduction, I was wearing a lot of black stretchy clothing from the maternity section. I was also a cheerleader and my thighs were large and I had a small waist, so finding pants that fit was a nightmare.
I also had a strange duality about me that I didn’t quite understand. I felt like a walking contradiction (cue Green Day). I am a Continue reading “How I Became More Comfortable and Confident Wearing What I Want to Wear”
I have always struggled with nail biting. It’s a habit I have had for as long as I can remember. I have tried everything to stop the habit or to change my nail biting tendencies but was successful only once, but it didn’t last long.
I’m a cuticle picker, a hangnail ripper, and a nail biter. Its especially bad when I’m reading or watching tv. My nail biting habit is mindless, I do it without thinking about it and when I realize what I’ve done I have ten bloody nubs where my fingernails were.
I used to think it was a nervous habit or something to do with anxiety, but I’m not a nervous or anxious person any more, my stress levels are incredibly low, yet I’m still a nail biter.
The one thing that worked for me to stop my nail biting was to have pretty fingernails. When I was young, I had my first manicure and I wanted it to last forever so I was very careful with my nails and didn’t bite them, was gentle with my hands, and I didn’t bite my nails for a long time after that. I don’t know what happened after that to make me start my nail biting habit back up. Continue reading “My Nail Biting Habit”